6TH OF JULY

I get a bit reluctant and scared every time the month of July would turn to its 6th date.
I get petrified when reality would infuse its pang deep within my consciousness.
Reality would whisper thoughts in my head and after some moments of solitude, the actuality of the moment would burst piercing my ego. Yes, I am 23.

I am the heaven that is changing its hue.
I am the canvass that is kissing the new brush.
Yet…
I am Napoleon that knows no Waterloo and
I am the column that no Samson could crush.


I garnered a new age today and somehow this fact caught me off-guard. I asked my self some points of truth that would make me conclude if, at some cost I lived my life with buoyancy and resilience. Still, I feel like I need all the time in the world to choose the right way from the confusing crossroad that I’m on. I may still tumble again in a dark room just because I forgot to put some light on. I may cry again over the same old reason. I may sink again as I swim through the waters of the unjust but I won’t stop to fight the waves because I know that I simply need to survive.

I am a survivor for the past 22 years and yet I am still on the verge of sacrificing and existing.

I am the anonymous author of a book with the unknown price.
I am the street light in a place with no passerby. Discussion on use
Yet…
I am the wisdom of my renowned forefathers and
I am the journey that few men dare stride.


I salute my selfless parents who, despite the financial hindrances, chose to give me not just a parcel of what I need but every thing that they possess and hold. For me, that is more than enough to make me strong.

I acknowledge my reserved brothers who, despite the misunderstandings, manage to keep their sister appreciated and loved in a way that they understand. For me, that is more than enough to make me happy.

I am proud of myself who, despite the difficult and unfair seconds of some hours in my life, manage to stay strong and sane. I guess every 6th of July represents my every hope and expectations for a renewed and personified survivor.

I am the novel of the unsung writer.
I am the intellect of the forgotten society
Yet…
I am to resound the cadence of valor
I am to inspire a boundless republic.


I give thanks to God for the overflowing handkerchiefs in times of my sadness and depression. I give recognition to God for all those scolding part He gave me just to keep me going on the right track. I am happy to know that there is God and I pity those who don’t. I ask Him to give me more moments to be with my loved ones just so I could create a full-paged scrapbook of those moments back in heaven in His time.





Looks like I am now aiming for the calendar to turn its page to July for the year 2010 and more.

QUANDARY

QUANDARY


My senses are far gone amidst the anguish of my heart
The room was dim;
No light to shine on my face so wet with tears.
No light to cheer up my breaking soul.
No light to remind me that I was indeed in darkness.
Perhaps this moment was destined to challenge my sanity.
Yes, my sanity is on the verge of dropping
My reasons are on the edge of breaking
My senses are on the brink of defeat
I never wanted anyone to share with me the same tragedy
The same dilemma; the same quandary…
My mind wasn’t good at controlling fears.
My heart couldn’t stop those eyes from shedding tears.
I could never have my freedom lest I gave mine.
I could never have my happiness lest I showered mine.
Yes the room was dark but what amazed me was
Every time I tried to switch on the light,
my heart would say yes but the mind would otherwise

Am I to suffer in darkness? Or was my liberation
not in the light?
Should I die wearing a smile or should I live having a sigh?