Flowers of any kind (and butterflies too) are my favorite subject when i do my painting, drawing or sketching..i think that there is more to that creation than just a mere external beauty.
Monday, May 25, 2009
toxicity
Major 3:Theories on Personality was one of my favorite Psychology major subject (of which I've got a 1.25 general grade). So when I came across some trivia from the net, i eagerly posted it to this blog. Looks like I've got to learn more from this stuff.
1. Manipulative Mary: These individuals are experts at manipulation tactics. Is a matter of fact, you may not even realize you have been manipulated until it is too late. These individuals figure out what your 'buttons' are, and push them to get what they want.
Why they are toxic: These people have a way of eating away at your belief system and self-esteem. They find ways to make you do things that you don't necessarily want to do and before you know it, you lose your sense of identity, your personal priorities and your ability to see the reality of the situation. The world all of a sudden becomes centered around their needs and their priorities.
2. Narcissistic Nancy: These people have an extreme sense of self-importance and believe that the world revolves around them. They are often not as sly as the Manipulative Marys of the world, but instead, tend to be a bit overt about getting their needs met. You often want to say to them "It isn't always about you."
Why they are toxic: They are solely focused on their needs, leaving your needs in the dust. You are left disappointed and unfulfilled. Further, they zap your energy by getting you to focus so much on them, that you have nothing left for yourself.
3. Debbie Downers: These people can't appreciate the positive in life. If you tell them that it is a beautiful day, they will tell you about the impending dreary forecast. If you tell them you aced a mid-term, they'll tell you about how difficult the final is going to be.
Why they are toxic: They take the joy out of everything. Your rosy outlook on life continues to get squashed with negativity. Before you know it, their negativity consumes you and you start looking at things with gray colored glasses yourself.
4. Judgmental Jims: When you see things as cute and quirky, they see things as strange and unattractive. If you find people's unique perspectives refreshing, they find them 'wrong'. If you like someone's eclectic taste, they find it 'disturbing' or 'bad'.
Why they are toxic: Judgmental people are much like Debbie Downers. In a world where freedom rings, judgment is sooo over. If the world was a homogeneous place, life would be pretty boring. Spending a lot of time with these types can inadvertently convert you into a judgmental person as well.
5. Dream Killing Keiths: Every time you have an idea, these people tell you why you can't do it. As you achieve, they try to pull you down. As you dream, they are the first to tell you it is impossible.
Why they are toxic: These people are stuck in what is instead of what could be. Further, these individuals eat away at your self-esteem and your belief in yourself. Progress and change can only occur from doing new things and innovating, dreaming the impossible and reaching for the stars.
6. Insincere Illissas: You never quite feel that these people are being sincere. You tell a funny story, they give you a polite laugh. You feel depressed and sad and they give you a 'there, there' type response. You tell them you are excited about something and you get a very ho-hum response.
Why they are toxic: People who aren't sincere or genuine build relationships on superficial criteria. This breeds shallow, meaningless relationships. When you are really in need of a friend, they won't be there. When you really need constructive criticism, they would rather tell you that you are great the way you are. When you need support, they would rather see you fail or make a fool of yourself.
7. Disrespectful Dannys: These people will say or do things at the most inappropriate times and in the most inappropriate ways. In essence, they are more subtle, grown up bullies. Maybe this person is a friend who you confided in and uses your secret against you. Maybe it is a family member who puts their busy-body nose into your affairs when it is none of their business. Or maybe, it is a colleague who says demeaning things to you.
Why they are toxic: These people have no sense of boundaries and don't respect your feelings or, for that matter, your privacy. These people will cause you to feel frustrated and disrespected.
8. Never Enough Nellies: You can never give enough to these people to make them happy. They take you for granted and have unrealistic expectations of you. They find ways to continually fault you and never take responsibility for anything themselves.
Why they are toxic: You will spend so much time trying to please them, that you will end up losing yourself in the process. They will require all of your time and energy, leaving you worn out and your own needs sacrificed.
http://www.shine.yahoo.com/channel/life/8-toxic-personalities-to-avoid-461078/
8 Toxic Personalities to Avoid
1. Manipulative Mary: These individuals are experts at manipulation tactics. Is a matter of fact, you may not even realize you have been manipulated until it is too late. These individuals figure out what your 'buttons' are, and push them to get what they want.
Why they are toxic: These people have a way of eating away at your belief system and self-esteem. They find ways to make you do things that you don't necessarily want to do and before you know it, you lose your sense of identity, your personal priorities and your ability to see the reality of the situation. The world all of a sudden becomes centered around their needs and their priorities.
2. Narcissistic Nancy: These people have an extreme sense of self-importance and believe that the world revolves around them. They are often not as sly as the Manipulative Marys of the world, but instead, tend to be a bit overt about getting their needs met. You often want to say to them "It isn't always about you."
Why they are toxic: They are solely focused on their needs, leaving your needs in the dust. You are left disappointed and unfulfilled. Further, they zap your energy by getting you to focus so much on them, that you have nothing left for yourself.
3. Debbie Downers: These people can't appreciate the positive in life. If you tell them that it is a beautiful day, they will tell you about the impending dreary forecast. If you tell them you aced a mid-term, they'll tell you about how difficult the final is going to be.
Why they are toxic: They take the joy out of everything. Your rosy outlook on life continues to get squashed with negativity. Before you know it, their negativity consumes you and you start looking at things with gray colored glasses yourself.
4. Judgmental Jims: When you see things as cute and quirky, they see things as strange and unattractive. If you find people's unique perspectives refreshing, they find them 'wrong'. If you like someone's eclectic taste, they find it 'disturbing' or 'bad'.
Why they are toxic: Judgmental people are much like Debbie Downers. In a world where freedom rings, judgment is sooo over. If the world was a homogeneous place, life would be pretty boring. Spending a lot of time with these types can inadvertently convert you into a judgmental person as well.
5. Dream Killing Keiths: Every time you have an idea, these people tell you why you can't do it. As you achieve, they try to pull you down. As you dream, they are the first to tell you it is impossible.
Why they are toxic: These people are stuck in what is instead of what could be. Further, these individuals eat away at your self-esteem and your belief in yourself. Progress and change can only occur from doing new things and innovating, dreaming the impossible and reaching for the stars.
6. Insincere Illissas: You never quite feel that these people are being sincere. You tell a funny story, they give you a polite laugh. You feel depressed and sad and they give you a 'there, there' type response. You tell them you are excited about something and you get a very ho-hum response.
Why they are toxic: People who aren't sincere or genuine build relationships on superficial criteria. This breeds shallow, meaningless relationships. When you are really in need of a friend, they won't be there. When you really need constructive criticism, they would rather tell you that you are great the way you are. When you need support, they would rather see you fail or make a fool of yourself.
7. Disrespectful Dannys: These people will say or do things at the most inappropriate times and in the most inappropriate ways. In essence, they are more subtle, grown up bullies. Maybe this person is a friend who you confided in and uses your secret against you. Maybe it is a family member who puts their busy-body nose into your affairs when it is none of their business. Or maybe, it is a colleague who says demeaning things to you.
Why they are toxic: These people have no sense of boundaries and don't respect your feelings or, for that matter, your privacy. These people will cause you to feel frustrated and disrespected.
8. Never Enough Nellies: You can never give enough to these people to make them happy. They take you for granted and have unrealistic expectations of you. They find ways to continually fault you and never take responsibility for anything themselves.
Why they are toxic: You will spend so much time trying to please them, that you will end up losing yourself in the process. They will require all of your time and energy, leaving you worn out and your own needs sacrificed.
http://www.shine.yahoo.com/channel/life/8-toxic-personalities-to-avoid-461078/
Saturday, May 23, 2009
bukas
"Bukas" is a poem that talks about seeing a better future without that someone whom you thought will spend the rest of their lives with you...i made this to console my self way back then..
It was kinda mushy but at least i've expressed my self in a way i knew best.
Bukas
Sa bawat luhang pipigilan ko
Naroroon ang mga ngiti mo
Nag-uumapaw ang pagtangis ko
Sa ating nakaraan
Nahihirapan akong umusad sa katotohanan
Nagkamali yata akong mahalin ka.
Labis ang panaginip
Ngunit kulang ang tiwala
Sa bawat ngiting mamamasdan ko
Humihiyaw ang kalooban ko.
Ang bahid ng kahapon ay sadyang madaya
Naiwan ako sa kasalukuyan na walang pag-asa
Gumuguhit ang luha sa aking pagmulat
Di magawang limutin
Na minsa’y naging akin ka
Sana bukas makita kong nagkamali ako
Na sambahin at mahalin ka.
Sana bukas pagising ko, wala na ang kirot
Ng pusong minsa’y umasa
Kaya ngayon, pakiusap ko, turuan mo
Akong tanggapin
Na hindi lahat ng ngiti mo’y para sa akin
At hindi lahat ng luha ko’y para sa’yo.
now looking back to my "ka-emotan," I just simply laughed and make myself learn more about God's plan..I know that I can look at tomorrow with a bigger head and a careful heart. So for those people who have some "crush" or "love thing" inside their mind, Think Twice!.. Some realities don't really lasts forever..
It was kinda mushy but at least i've expressed my self in a way i knew best.
Bukas
Sa bawat luhang pipigilan ko
Naroroon ang mga ngiti mo
Nag-uumapaw ang pagtangis ko
Sa ating nakaraan
Nahihirapan akong umusad sa katotohanan
Nagkamali yata akong mahalin ka.
Labis ang panaginip
Ngunit kulang ang tiwala
Sa bawat ngiting mamamasdan ko
Humihiyaw ang kalooban ko.
Ang bahid ng kahapon ay sadyang madaya
Naiwan ako sa kasalukuyan na walang pag-asa
Gumuguhit ang luha sa aking pagmulat
Di magawang limutin
Na minsa’y naging akin ka
Sana bukas makita kong nagkamali ako
Na sambahin at mahalin ka.
Sana bukas pagising ko, wala na ang kirot
Ng pusong minsa’y umasa
Kaya ngayon, pakiusap ko, turuan mo
Akong tanggapin
Na hindi lahat ng ngiti mo’y para sa akin
At hindi lahat ng luha ko’y para sa’yo.
now looking back to my "ka-emotan," I just simply laughed and make myself learn more about God's plan..I know that I can look at tomorrow with a bigger head and a careful heart. So for those people who have some "crush" or "love thing" inside their mind, Think Twice!.. Some realities don't really lasts forever..
te amo
I studied Spanish at UP back then as an extramural course. After finishing the course, we were given a certificate which was acknowledge and acredited by the Emabssy of Spain..so anytime I want to go to Spain to work/study, the access will be a loteasier...
now, here's one of the most eternal spanish love poem of which I knew by heart.. This was written in verse by my idol, Pablo Neruda..
Amar alquien no es crimen
Tienes que buscar al fondo
De tu Corazon par aver,
Tu alegria, tu tristeza
Y tu recuerdos
De amor, no hay huida
El amor encontrarte
Adondequiera que ir.
here's the translation..
To love someone, is not a crime
You have to look inside
The depths of your heart
To see tyour happiness,
Your sadness, and your memories
Of love, there is no escape
Love will find you
Wherever you will go
now, here's one of the most eternal spanish love poem of which I knew by heart.. This was written in verse by my idol, Pablo Neruda..
Amar alquien no es crimen
Tienes que buscar al fondo
De tu Corazon par aver,
Tu alegria, tu tristeza
Y tu recuerdos
De amor, no hay huida
El amor encontrarte
Adondequiera que ir.
here's the translation..
To love someone, is not a crime
You have to look inside
The depths of your heart
To see tyour happiness,
Your sadness, and your memories
Of love, there is no escape
Love will find you
Wherever you will go
I made this poem way back in 2003.. My original plan was to put some music to it. But i opted to plan B. I want it to retain as a poem, not a song..
Fortress
The day will now end
Without something to hold on
No sign of the air you breathe
Nor a trace of your smile
The day shall end with a heavy anguish of my heart
For you never see my light
Shining down your way
Unsure of what to say
Every time I will pray
Must I end this love for you
Or have this feeling to continue
You never showed me your way
The absence of my love…
That’s what you pray
I tried to forget the mark that you left
It’s hard to continue the war that you’ve started
The fortress I once have now faded
Deliverance, that’s what you wanted
The fortress I once have now faded
Deliverance, that’s what you wanted
Fortress
The day will now end
Without something to hold on
No sign of the air you breathe
Nor a trace of your smile
The day shall end with a heavy anguish of my heart
For you never see my light
Shining down your way
Unsure of what to say
Every time I will pray
Must I end this love for you
Or have this feeling to continue
You never showed me your way
The absence of my love…
That’s what you pray
I tried to forget the mark that you left
It’s hard to continue the war that you’ve started
The fortress I once have now faded
Deliverance, that’s what you wanted
The fortress I once have now faded
Deliverance, that’s what you wanted
Gratitude
para pasalamatan ang mga dormates kong soooobrang thoughtful, ginawan ko sila ng poem..ginawa ko to nung sinurprise nila ako for my debut...at pinost ko sa pinto ng kwarto nmin.,.sa ganitong paraan, gusto kong madama nila na naging masaya ako sa simpleng regalo nila sa akin..
Gratitude
Thank You …
For the times I almost forgot to be sad
Because you told me
“God will cheer you up,
his love is the best you’ll ever had”
Thank you…
For making me accept the things I can’t
Because you told me
“Accept your failures
Not all things are meant”
Thank You…
For making me happy in times I’d rather die
Because you told me
“Life is like that
Cheer up and never give up”
Thank you…
For counting me worthy of this endless friendship
Because you told me
“Open your eyes and see
This friendship of ours is forever endless”
i miss you guys, dont worry..magkakaroon tayo ng bonggang-bonggang reunion..haha! mwah
Gratitude
Thank You …
For the times I almost forgot to be sad
Because you told me
“God will cheer you up,
his love is the best you’ll ever had”
Thank you…
For making me accept the things I can’t
Because you told me
“Accept your failures
Not all things are meant”
Thank You…
For making me happy in times I’d rather die
Because you told me
“Life is like that
Cheer up and never give up”
Thank you…
For counting me worthy of this endless friendship
Because you told me
“Open your eyes and see
This friendship of ours is forever endless”
i miss you guys, dont worry..magkakaroon tayo ng bonggang-bonggang reunion..haha! mwah
for dian
dian was my former PE mate..i made this poem for her way back in UP..
Melancholy drove me to the bottom
Wandering within the darkest depths
Uncontrolled tears, unsung fears
Every dream seems far yet so near
Fate created the chance of meeting you
I may never know the reason why I’m with you
You’ve been a light in the dark side of me
You make everything look so new and true
A mate of a quarter, a friend of forever
Breeze of the morning laughs when we are together
A heart pounding in truth making us wise
The journey we shall finish until we see the sunrise
mahirap ng makahanap ng kaibigan sa loob lamang ng maikling panahon..i miss u di.
Melancholy drove me to the bottom
Wandering within the darkest depths
Uncontrolled tears, unsung fears
Every dream seems far yet so near
Fate created the chance of meeting you
I may never know the reason why I’m with you
You’ve been a light in the dark side of me
You make everything look so new and true
A mate of a quarter, a friend of forever
Breeze of the morning laughs when we are together
A heart pounding in truth making us wise
The journey we shall finish until we see the sunrise
mahirap ng makahanap ng kaibigan sa loob lamang ng maikling panahon..i miss u di.
lily for the soul
during my stay at my dorm in Manila, I met this very wonderful lady of whom I fondly call Tita Belen..I made this poem for her. I wanted to tell her how much she means to me and until now, she will always be beautiful flower for me..thanks Tita! i miss u..
Lily for the Soul
Such a brave heart
Empowering clasp of caress
Simplicity of your being
Sang the sweetest lullaby
A matron by profession
A mother by vocation
You heard my anguish
Crying, until the dawn
Hush the whisper
Renew each day with bliss
And hope fills me in
Strengthen by your words
This soul conquers something not, but all
In a world of liars and thieves
You stood high amidst animosity
Thru the dark space of uncertainty
You remain a saint, a savior
A friend for me
If time would bid goodbye and end this cherished bond
I won’t grieve nor leave a sigh
For in my heart you’ll still remain
Till the sea run out of sand
Such a brave heart
Empowering clasp of caress
Simplicity of your being
Sang the sweetest lullaby
A matron by profession
A mother by vocation
You heard my anguish
Crying, until the dawn
Hush the whisper
Renew each day with bliss
And hope fills me in
Strengthen by your words
This soul conquers something not, but all
In a world of liars and thieves
You stood high amidst animosity
Thru the dark space of uncertainty
You remain a saint, a savior
A friend for me
If time would bid goodbye and end this cherished bond
I won’t grieve nor leave a sigh
For in my heart you’ll still remain
Till the sea run out of sand
Thursday, May 21, 2009
i am natural daw..
I took a quiz at the facebook to see how beautiful I am daw..eto result..haha..
The greatest things is life are free of complications - you're a practical beauty who doesn't rely on frills and passing fads to show off your style. Down-to-earth and oh-so-cool, friends count on you for good advice and a strong shoulder to cry on. You know what you want out of life and don't worry about impressing others with over-the-top outfits and the newest alternative styles. You've got a healthy dose of self-confidence that simply radiates beauty and grace. And nothing's more natural than that.
The greatest things is life are free of complications - you're a practical beauty who doesn't rely on frills and passing fads to show off your style. Down-to-earth and oh-so-cool, friends count on you for good advice and a strong shoulder to cry on. You know what you want out of life and don't worry about impressing others with over-the-top outfits and the newest alternative styles. You've got a healthy dose of self-confidence that simply radiates beauty and grace. And nothing's more natural than that.
memory
Mitch Albom is one of my favorite contemporary writer. He drew the hearts of his readers in every page.. The Five people was a stunning work. and I love evry single detail of the story. Actually, I agree with most of its
Lost love is still love. It takes a different form, that's all. You can't see their smile or bring them food or tousle their hair or move them around a dance floor. But when those senses weaken, another heightens. memory.
memory becomes your partner. you nurture it. You hold it. you dance with it. --Mitch Albom, The Five People You Meet in Heaven
Lost love is still love. It takes a different form, that's all. You can't see their smile or bring them food or tousle their hair or move them around a dance floor. But when those senses weaken, another heightens. memory.
memory becomes your partner. you nurture it. You hold it. you dance with it. --Mitch Albom, The Five People You Meet in Heaven
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
lucky
the first time I heard this song, I kinda like everything about it, from the rhythm to the beat and to the lyrics...somehow, I wanted to feel the same message it has. I think it is nice to be in love with a friend who quite knew every detail of you. It's like bringing the warmth of friendship to the next level..but don't get me wrong, I am not literally in love with my best friend.
here's Lucky by J. Mraz:
here's Lucky by J. Mraz:
Do you hear me, I'm talking to you
Across the water across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky oh my, baby I'm trying
Boy I hear you in my dreams
I feel your whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart
You make it easier when life gets hard
I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
They don't know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I'll wait for you I promise you, I will
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
lovely lady
I took a quiz at the Facebook. And here's the result..nah??!
You are lovely and caring. You help others and spread out a lot of sympathy. Your life aim might be to serve the people. But your weakness is that you forget about yourself, your own needs. All your time is hold back for your friends and family. You are always there for people in trouble. Ready for any emergency. You make a lot of sacrifices just to be a good human. But every woman has her needs, her longings and a destiny. Don't loose yourself in work or curing other people's souls. You will have your own problems in your life. Another problem is that you don't say your opinion when it's right and important to say it. People trample onto your soul if you are always so kind and lovely and helpful. They will play on you. Though you should try to relax more and enjoy your life, you should not loose the gift that was given to you to help others . Not everyone is created this way... You are unique and rare!
Monday, May 18, 2009
I am not really a Maria Clarang Makabayan.. I also get some colonial mentality syndrome in my system. I admit that I do not patronize the local industry in a perfect score of 10..
But believe me, I loathe all the facts that are insulting to our heritage, not to mention, our own race.
Now, hear my voice:
Those filthy foreigners who tried to show the world that their race is "better" make me sick. I don't have to enumerate all of them, but i invoke my freedom to correct them as far as my opinion is concern.
Alec Baldwin should have watched his mouth more. I find his "joke" about considering having a mail-order-Filipina-bride (or Russian also, as he said) very unethical and unprofessional. What does he think of himself? a filthy god wannabe who can claim and "buy" whatever and whoever he wants??
for his information, the "filipina" is not and will never be for sale. I hate to say it but he might as well look intently at his own status and situation.
message for Baldwin:
1. we are not for sale
2. you are so pathetic
3. i pity you and the rest of your colleagues who know nothing but money, sex and sins.
4. you are good for nothing so you better watch your mouth.
and for those people (foreigners or not) who find any Filipina to be of low class and easy to enslave, I am warning you.
But believe me, I loathe all the facts that are insulting to our heritage, not to mention, our own race.
Now, hear my voice:
Those filthy foreigners who tried to show the world that their race is "better" make me sick. I don't have to enumerate all of them, but i invoke my freedom to correct them as far as my opinion is concern.
Alec Baldwin should have watched his mouth more. I find his "joke" about considering having a mail-order-Filipina-bride (or Russian also, as he said) very unethical and unprofessional. What does he think of himself? a filthy god wannabe who can claim and "buy" whatever and whoever he wants??
for his information, the "filipina" is not and will never be for sale. I hate to say it but he might as well look intently at his own status and situation.
message for Baldwin:
1. we are not for sale
2. you are so pathetic
3. i pity you and the rest of your colleagues who know nothing but money, sex and sins.
4. you are good for nothing so you better watch your mouth.
and for those people (foreigners or not) who find any Filipina to be of low class and easy to enslave, I am warning you.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
BLEEDING IS BEAUTIFUL
one of my favorite songs is IRIS..an OST of the movie City of Angels (of which I haven't even seen yet!!) anyway, my fave line of that song goes like this..
YEAH, YOU BLEED JUST TO KNOW YOU'RE ALIVE...
it's true.. in order for you to experience the reality and validity of any occurence in your life, you've got to get HURT first..yup, you've read it right!
living within our existence don't usually promise a paradise nor abyss.
living out our hearts won't mean fantasy neither..
instead
living (which I believe that somehow corresponds to loving) means the opposite of hedonism.
You've got to get hurt and experience whichever pain is availabale at the moment. You've got to bleed. you've got to get hurt. you've got to cry. at times though, you've got to "almost lose your sanity."
at the end of the bumpy road, you'll see that there is a promise of healing..and when that time comes, you'll realize that BLEEDING IS BEAUTIFUL..and that PAIN will let you realize that you are indeed the most blessed and the most beautiful person that ever walked on earth.
I've always believed in happiness, and in sorrow..
you see, i have both of them in my pocket. ;p ..always!
YEAH, YOU BLEED JUST TO KNOW YOU'RE ALIVE...
it's true.. in order for you to experience the reality and validity of any occurence in your life, you've got to get HURT first..yup, you've read it right!
living within our existence don't usually promise a paradise nor abyss.
living out our hearts won't mean fantasy neither..
instead
living (which I believe that somehow corresponds to loving) means the opposite of hedonism.
You've got to get hurt and experience whichever pain is availabale at the moment. You've got to bleed. you've got to get hurt. you've got to cry. at times though, you've got to "almost lose your sanity."
at the end of the bumpy road, you'll see that there is a promise of healing..and when that time comes, you'll realize that BLEEDING IS BEAUTIFUL..and that PAIN will let you realize that you are indeed the most blessed and the most beautiful person that ever walked on earth.
I've always believed in happiness, and in sorrow..
you see, i have both of them in my pocket. ;p ..always!
Monday, May 11, 2009
my desire...desiderata
when i get down and stumble..i see some ray of
hope thru this wonderful piece of art..desiderata..
Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender,
As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs,
Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love,
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God,
Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.
it's so damn hard to be in between happiness and sorrow..but at least, life could still be worth living..right?
Saturday, May 9, 2009
bakit wala pa akong boyfriend?
kapag tinatanong ako bakit wala pa daw akong boyfriend, sinsabi ko na lang, "eh wala eh..ayoko pa''...
siguro pwede na akong ituring ng mga tao na wirdo, eccentric, playsafe na tao at sentimental na nilalang..wala naman akong magagawa tungkol sa mga bagay na to. kapag si cheska na kasi ang pinag-uusapan, what you see is what you get..
now back on the topic..hmm, pag-ibig eh?
di ko itatanggi na nagmahal na din ako dati. madaming beses na din akong kinilig sa mga "simple at mababaw na bagay na may kinalaman sa pagmamahal..madalas din na mamisinterpret ko ang mga pa-tweetums ng mga guy friends ko sa akin..at kahit sa sikat na artista, kinikilig ako.
mga signs na i'm head over heels..
#1. isang text lang (kahit gm) e ngumingiti na ako..believe me, matamis ang mga ngiti ko!
#2. makabasa lang ako ng anything na may kinalaman sa kanya, masaya na ako.
#3. kapag nakakapanood ako ng mg chick flicks, nagdaday dream ako at humahabi ng sarili naming chick flicks.hehe.
#4. nasa isip ko ang mukha niya palagi
#5. lumilipas ang beinte cuatro oras na tumitibok ng literal ang puso ko at metaporikal na siya ang dahilan.
ganyan ako dati mainlab kahit pa sabihing sila'y panaginip lamang. sa mga ganitong kahibangan ako nagiging masaya at abot abot ang euphoria..
bumalik tayo sa tanong..bakit wala pa akong boypren?
di ko kasi makita pa ang sarili ko na inaalagaan ng ibang tao bukod sa pamilya ko. kadalasan din pakiramdam ko,"wala akong karapatan" sa pagibig..hindi ko kasi din maramdaman yung reyalidad na magkakaroon ako ng commitment sa isang taong hindi ko mn kaanu-ano..sinasabi ko din madalas na "bata pa ako" at ayaw ko pang lumugar sa mga naging dating posisyon ng mga kababaihang nabuntis bigla o sa mga binatang nagsisisi sa pagiging mapusok nila.
Sa panahon ngayon, bihira na ang mga "virgin couples"..what i mean is, virgin ka spiritualy and physically.. kapag kasi may karelasyon ka, sinasabi nila normal lang ang "may nagaganap"..hindi ako sang-ayon dun...
para sa akin, ang tunay na pagmamahal ay may kaakibat na respeto at pasensya..
RESPETO sa katawan at pagkatao ng partner mo at
PASENSYA sa paghihintay ng tamang panahon para sa mga bagay na dapat mga mag-asawa lamang ang may saklaw.
pinangangalagaan ko ang aking sarili gaya ng pag-iingat sa akin ng nanay ko mula pa nuong una..ayokong mapariwara dahil sa mga maling nakaugalian ng mundo ng pag-ibig.
sa ngayon, marami akong mahal..
#1.ang Diyos
#2.ang nanay, tatay at dalawa kong kptid na lalaki
#3. ang career ko sa loob at labas ng aming bahay
#4. ang aking mga kaibigan
#5. ang aking sarili...
FROM PURGATORY
I made a mistake. I should have known better…now, I’m dead.
Long ago, I was trying to run away from the nightmares of not having an identity to create within the depths of my world. I was besieged by the idea of playing someone else’s role. I was never thankful to the “gift of being” my Creator had given me.
There was never a moment of satisfaction.
A creation of something or someone I will never know, which is invariably always in my thoughts, will temporarily soothe the cringing pain robbing the very insanity of which heavens bestowed upon this soul.
Pain –he is my brother…and my robber.
Perhaps my anguish, a silent one, will never be heard.
And I guess some things are learned when you are already kissing the grave and when the coldness of the ground, which embraces you, is the only mantle of consolation present within.
The cry of an excruciating pain will always follow me, like a shadow or like the wind.
No. Do not tell me that I did not try. Do not tell me that I did not bother to take it off. It was my long-time yearning to emancipate myself from this desolation and despair. But I find no victory at all.
I cried so loud because I was dead, yet the birds still continue to sing the melody of living. I envy them a thousand times.
I tried to end the misery and the pessimism of my little freak mind but I still find no refuge at all. And no, not even a tear from the clouds nor the streak of sunshine could fathom my agony. From the moment I step my vision here, I beg my mind to numb my heart and wash the guilt away.
I tried. Believe me I tried.
I collected all efforts left to tell you how painful it was.
No one hears my voice. No one feels my sorrow. No one sees my pain.
Still, I know I made a mistake and I should have known better…
Now, here I am, wanting to be free.
The former place of abode I called home did not teach me to live the parcel of my life or even to laugh out my essence. I was a slave of a bitter curiosity and of a contemptuous culture. And now, I shall reside here with only a fringe of light that forms only from above. I do not understand why I am still fighting to live from the battle of the dead. Perhaps it is for me to taste the wine of eternal happiness.
But why am I still dwelling from the realities of my nightmares? Why am I still hearing the horrible footsteps and knocks of my past?
You see I quest for freedom. I seek forgiveness. I want a prayer. And I need God.
If only I could touch Him.
If only…
Long ago, I was trying to run away from the nightmares of not having an identity to create within the depths of my world. I was besieged by the idea of playing someone else’s role. I was never thankful to the “gift of being” my Creator had given me.
There was never a moment of satisfaction.
A creation of something or someone I will never know, which is invariably always in my thoughts, will temporarily soothe the cringing pain robbing the very insanity of which heavens bestowed upon this soul.
Pain –he is my brother…and my robber.
Perhaps my anguish, a silent one, will never be heard.
And I guess some things are learned when you are already kissing the grave and when the coldness of the ground, which embraces you, is the only mantle of consolation present within.
The cry of an excruciating pain will always follow me, like a shadow or like the wind.
No. Do not tell me that I did not try. Do not tell me that I did not bother to take it off. It was my long-time yearning to emancipate myself from this desolation and despair. But I find no victory at all.
I cried so loud because I was dead, yet the birds still continue to sing the melody of living. I envy them a thousand times.
I tried to end the misery and the pessimism of my little freak mind but I still find no refuge at all. And no, not even a tear from the clouds nor the streak of sunshine could fathom my agony. From the moment I step my vision here, I beg my mind to numb my heart and wash the guilt away.
I tried. Believe me I tried.
I collected all efforts left to tell you how painful it was.
No one hears my voice. No one feels my sorrow. No one sees my pain.
Still, I know I made a mistake and I should have known better…
Now, here I am, wanting to be free.
The former place of abode I called home did not teach me to live the parcel of my life or even to laugh out my essence. I was a slave of a bitter curiosity and of a contemptuous culture. And now, I shall reside here with only a fringe of light that forms only from above. I do not understand why I am still fighting to live from the battle of the dead. Perhaps it is for me to taste the wine of eternal happiness.
But why am I still dwelling from the realities of my nightmares? Why am I still hearing the horrible footsteps and knocks of my past?
You see I quest for freedom. I seek forgiveness. I want a prayer. And I need God.
If only I could touch Him.
If only…
BREVITY
i wrote this poem way back in 2007.
I had my simple moments with my mom and brothers before i wrote this poem..i then realize that Life, after all, is simply a treasure, especially if you spend it with your
precious ones..
Her soul laughs simple worries and cries tearful joys;
Knew no boundaries in weaving unspoken dreams
Sees forever by just playing her game
Life’s wholeness was simply perfect; nothing will be destroyed
She took no rain when her feet were wandering
Faith was what she had; she was simply trusting
Little did she know she was to kiss eternity goodbye?
Without seeing the cherished dawn, not even the sky
In her placid dream, she tasted the bitter tears
She longed for infinite solitude beyond her sanity
Not all shade in her track appears to be clear
Yet she cherished life, its weakness, and its brevity.
Knew no boundaries in weaving unspoken dreams
Sees forever by just playing her game
Life’s wholeness was simply perfect; nothing will be destroyed
She took no rain when her feet were wandering
Faith was what she had; she was simply trusting
Little did she know she was to kiss eternity goodbye?
Without seeing the cherished dawn, not even the sky
In her placid dream, she tasted the bitter tears
She longed for infinite solitude beyond her sanity
Not all shade in her track appears to be clear
Yet she cherished life, its weakness, and its brevity.
sa piling mo
i don' t actually go crazy over soap operas. I am not an avid fan of those kinds either..but then, Totoy Bato serye moves me to the extent that I cried..that seldom happens..
I salute the character of totoy, a strong father for his daughter and a valiant hero for his fellow.
i cried on the scene where he "informally" bid goodbye to his dying daughter(his daughter needs a new heart). The irony was he wanted to die first before his daughter. he wanted to give even his heart to his daughter in order for the latter to survive. i even cried more because of the melodios song Sa Piling Mo sung by the songbird.
nowadays, the bond between father and child seldom takes the stage. It is usually the mother who does every sacrifices.. and the fathers get left behind..
i don't have much moments with my own dad because he is away doing his job in order for us to have food at the table..I see him twice a month..and that makes me sad...nonetheless, i never fail to tell him and make him feel that I am blessed to have him as my dad and our haligi ng tahanan. although he technically cannot provide everything, his motives and hopes for us make him simply a wonderful daddy..
tatay, alam ko di mo to nababasa pa..pero gusto kong malaman mo na mahal na mahal ka namin. at nananatili ang mataas na pagtingin namin sa'yo..
I salute the character of totoy, a strong father for his daughter and a valiant hero for his fellow.
i cried on the scene where he "informally" bid goodbye to his dying daughter(his daughter needs a new heart). The irony was he wanted to die first before his daughter. he wanted to give even his heart to his daughter in order for the latter to survive. i even cried more because of the melodios song Sa Piling Mo sung by the songbird.
nowadays, the bond between father and child seldom takes the stage. It is usually the mother who does every sacrifices.. and the fathers get left behind..
i don't have much moments with my own dad because he is away doing his job in order for us to have food at the table..I see him twice a month..and that makes me sad...nonetheless, i never fail to tell him and make him feel that I am blessed to have him as my dad and our haligi ng tahanan. although he technically cannot provide everything, his motives and hopes for us make him simply a wonderful daddy..
tatay, alam ko di mo to nababasa pa..pero gusto kong malaman mo na mahal na mahal ka namin. at nananatili ang mataas na pagtingin namin sa'yo..
Sa piling mo ako'y buhay
Napapawi ang lungkot at lumbay
Walang iba para sakin
At habang buhay kitang mamahalin
Ipinapangako ko
Pakakaingatan ko ang iyong puso
Hindi ka na mag-iisa
Pagkat ako ay lagi mong makakasama
Sa piling mo akoy buhay
Napapawi ang lungkot at lumbay
Walang iba para sakin
At habang buhay kitang mamahalin
Ipinapangako ko
Pakakaigatan ko ang iyong puso
Hindi ka na mag-iisa
Pagkat ako ay lagi mong makakasama
Ngayon at kailanmanSa hirap at ginhawa...
Sa piling mo nadarama
Ang walang patid na pag-sinta
Minimithi, gabi't araw
Na ang magmamahal sa akin ay ikaw...
Sa piling mo...
quite unrequited
i am loving someone whom i cannot actually be with..
all the more, those years he had been my friend makes me feel that at least, i have got some chance of being someone he can love too..
i never wanted to tell him my feelings because of fear.. i am afraid to lose our friendship..
i wish to see his face but i just can't. i only dream of being with him every now and then but still, reality exists.
i wish i could be more open to him of how much i wanted to show him and tell him this feeling i've been feeling for the past six years..i miss those movie escapades and barkada trippings we had..
i guess somethings never change..
i love him..
butu this feeling will, i guess stay unrequited..
i dont even know if he likes me..
well, all's well that ends well.
all the more, those years he had been my friend makes me feel that at least, i have got some chance of being someone he can love too..
i never wanted to tell him my feelings because of fear.. i am afraid to lose our friendship..
i wish to see his face but i just can't. i only dream of being with him every now and then but still, reality exists.
i wish i could be more open to him of how much i wanted to show him and tell him this feeling i've been feeling for the past six years..i miss those movie escapades and barkada trippings we had..
i guess somethings never change..
i love him..
butu this feeling will, i guess stay unrequited..
i dont even know if he likes me..
well, all's well that ends well.
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